Sue Hunters
by Zaraki Jaegerjaquez
Summary: Odd things are happening all around the place. When the sues invade- sorry I mean enter Soul Society it is up to Ichigo to fight- sorry fall in love with the sues? What is this, what's happening in Soul Society? Everything is going down in flames, in a fight for our lives. Ichigo is falling in love with a non canon character? What's going on!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Every last sue is (unfortunately) mine.**

 **Arowen- And mine!**

 **Yes yours too.**

* * *

**Somewhere on Earth**

Heehee. Done.

**In Soul Society**

"Is that the best you got?!" Renji asked in a cocky manner, the resounding echo of his now shattered glasses impacting the floor echoing throughout the courtyard.

"Of course not! You're just mad I broke your glasses!" Ichigo challenged narrowly ducking under Renji's strike as it curved towards him.

"Of course I am! The Silver Dragonfly is too expensive! That's an entire paycheck down the drain! AND it's a visor!" Renji roared angrily slashing Zabimaru as the blade's joining segments spread out to snap at Ichigo.

"Why do you need one? To hide your stupid eyebrows pineapple-head?!" Ichigo taunted springing back slightly and raising Zangetsu's wide blade to defend.

"Oh now you've done it!" Renji yelled scarlet painting his features in anger and mirroring the colour of his hair, he swung Zabimaru in a wide careless swing leaving him open.

Ichigo took the chance and slashed at Renji the blade connecting and slicing through skin to Shiro's amused wound while semi-shallow, dripped crimson down the front of Renji's Shihakusho. Renji retaliated with a low kick sending Ichigo sprawling.

Renji seeing an opening in Ichigo's defense, quickly swept in for a cut like a predator striking at its prey. Zabimaru whipped toward Ichigo's upper left arm, but was blocked before he cut into the bone. Ichigo's left arm hung limply, fire coiling in his eyes he raised Zangetsu with his uninjured arm and yelled "GETSUGA TENSHO!" leaving Renji a deep gash in his already injured chest..

"Alright, that was a warm-up! BANKAI, Hihio Zabimaru!" Renji called reiatsu whipping out in a flash of sky blue. When the light disappeared Zabimaru had transformed into a large bone snake with multiple segments, its large form curling around Renji protectively.

.

Ichigo pulled his hand over his face in a jagged manner crimson reiatsu collecting around his form, his hollow mask materialized with red spikes running down the left side of his mask, while black bled into his sclera, and the iris was dyed a feral gold.

"GETSUGA TENSHO!" yelled Ichigo, releasing a wave of black-red energy that surged onwards in a path of heavenly destruction. Renji countered with Hihio Zabimaru producing an explosion that sent rubble crashing around them, and dust clouding the air.

When the smoke cleared Renji grinned and Ichigo smirked while maintaining a scowl under the mask. Both of them were covered with minor cuts and bruises, blood leaking from small wounds and tainting the air with the familiar smell of a metallic tang.

"Alright let's finish this. Ban-KAI!" Ichigo called out with the distortion of his hollow present in his voice. Ichigo's reiatsu exploded outwards sweeping over their surroundings in heaving waves, Uryuu and Renji stumbled back slightly at the released force of Ichigo's reiatsu.

As the thick waves of reiatsu slowly calmed, the man at the center of the maelstrom was revealed. His hair was being whipped around by angry, yet ever slowing down winds.

Ichigo wore his tattered Bankai gear, the flowing coat tangling around his form in a non-existent wind, and his sword had shifted into a long, black thin daito with four prongs extending as a cross-guard.

Ichigo vanished in an instant a flicker of an image the only clue to his speed and was behind Renji.

"GETSUGA TENSHO!" he yelled, and an extremely powerful Getsuga hit Renji right when he turned around, singing off his eyebrows and flinging the red-head back against the far wall.

Ichigo's mask crumbled, revealing glowing amber orbs and a wicked grin, both Renji and Ichigo released their Bankai. Renji's zanpakuto returning to it's sealed state, and Ichigo's becoming an oversized meat cleaver… again, there was musings that he would never be able to seal the blade.

"How dare you! My eyebrows are ruined!" Renji roared as he whipped around to face Ichigo a comedic expression of outrage lining his features.

"It's not my fault you went face first into the Getsuga Tensho!" Ichigo challenged slightly indignant as he stared at his friend trying to contain his laughter.

"Oh yeah?! Well you're just a stupid one-trick pony who's just a wanna-be shinigami!" Renji responded with a snarl reiatsu snaking along his blade at his anger.

"Well you just say that because you're an Oh-so-mighty lieutenant!" Ichigo called back, eyes bright and a grin playing across his lips.

"I am strong! You just watch!" Renji imparted, flicking Zabimaru's blade up so that he could once more challenge Ichigo.

"So I can beat you again?" Ichigo answered cockily orange hair glinting in the sunlight, and illuminating the curve of his lips.

Uryuu watched the two fight like idiots, as expected of shinigami, more particularly the ones he was sadly friends with. He sighed and pushed up his glasses annoyed at the ever present nuisance of their slide down the bridge of his nose. Why were they so stupid he wondered?

He summoned his bow the reiatsu crackling beneath his fingers and thrumming through his skin, and shot a powerful arrow between the two bickering idiots. It landed with a small crash of rubble making them jump a foot in the air, expressions of shock plastering their features.

"Oi! What the hell Uryuu?" yelled both Ichigo and Renji, dual looks of outrage painting their features as they simultaneously turned to face him..

"You were both being idiots. As a Quincy it is my duty to make sure you both don't kill each other with your stupidity." Uryuu stated in a deadpan, amusedly remarking that as a Quincy his 'true' duty was to dispose of the fools...

"I'm going to get you for that!" Ichigo and Renji chorused sharing a slightly mischievous look, before they drew their blades and proceeded to chase Uryuu.

* * *

Rikichi wasn't happy. The seated Shinigami and other members from the 6th and 4th divisions were on a routine trip through the First to Twentieth Rukon districts.

He sighed softly in a depressed manner and asked particularly no one, why did he have to be in the nicest districts? He wanted to be in the 80th slaying hollows and killing menos grande and stopping thugs, or maybe the human world saving pluses, anything beyond the mind-numbing simplicity of patrolling the same streets relentlessly.

He wanted to be just as good as Lieutenant Renji one day, standing beside Kuchiki-taicho and wielding his Bankai, saving his friend from the execution stand. After all it was for those reasons he got the tattoo on his shoulder, in honor of the red-haired lieutenant.

"I wanna get better, cooler tattoos, but what if I look better than Renji? That can't happen..." he moaned.

"Know what? I'm gonna perform the best so that they send me on better missions and I can be like Renji! After all, I can control Jigokucho now." he proclaimed mentally.

As Rikichi and his group walked through the 11th District of North Rukongai the sky grew brighter and a pulsing object that appeared like a meteor or some celestial object hurtled towards Earth in the gentle imitation of a fall through the atmosphere well, sky. He wasn't sure whether Soul Society had an atmosphere, he left that to the 12th division, but he assumed it did.

A loud boom was heard as the object hit the ground, rubble flying every which way, and dust obscuring their sight. When the group approached it warily, wait, the group of Shinigami backpedaled for a moment eyes wide with disbelief. Was it covered in a sparkly rainbow miasma? As odd as the miasma was, it quickly faded revealing a young girl who appeared to be injured.

She was about 5'4 with a rather dainty figure one that spoke of gentleness and what appeared to be massive breasts, large enough to be larger than double D and bigger than Rangiku's. Let's call them size G for ginormous, decided Rikichi with his eyes swirling from breast overload.

Her face was soft and almost cherubic, all perfect angles contained in a soft innocence, except she had no fat whatsoever. Can't be healthy he thought, not even visible muscle for body mass, how does she hold up those boobs?

Her eyes were shut, and the lids rested softly on her face the picture of sleeping beauty, no wrinkles marring her features. Her lips were slightly open, revealing platinum teeth underneath the soft, pink, gentle little hills upon her face.

Her hair appeared to be smooth and silky, fine to the touch, rippling like waves of stars along her shoulders, caressing her neck in an intimate grace. The hair itself appeared to be made out of shimmering strands of the finest gold and silver, although that was probably a trick of the light. The silver and gold, however, appeared to be natural, oddly enough. Perhaps by some hidden divine power she was granted the strange, yet mesmerizing locks.

Her clothes too, appeared to be rather odd for a soul, though there was the possibility of her being alive? Which well unbelievable before the mess of lieutenant Kuchiki's execution, Kurosaki-san made the impossible seem like a fantasy.

The young female appeared to be wearing a living world shirt that young living people wore to go to school, the kind that required a vest, and then a blouse? Rikichi didn't understand the purpose of such layering but he supposed in some fashionable way it made sense. Perhaps Ayasegawa-san would know. She also appeared to be wearing a short, but not too short – fortunately - plaid skirt.

On top of that, she wore a tie. "Why a tie," wondered Rikichi, aren't ties worn by males? Or is it perhaps some mystery of adolescent living? What a strange, and mesmerizing woman,every essence of her presence a mystery that Rikichi couldn't comprehend, she was like a black hole infinite and consuming, sucking all in with their curiosity of the unknown.

He noticed she had a couple of cuts and one was on her admittedly cute face.

Rikichi frowned, the sight of such injuries stirring rampant emotions within his chest, he considered the collective of Shinigami and asked one of the members of the 4th, "Should we take her back to the 4th with us? She doesn't look too injured."

"Yes. She likely suffered head trauma and considering she fell from the sky, she's lucky her wounds are minimal. However, we still need to check her over." replied the member from the 4th, he himself pondering how she wasn't dead, but then, the ryoka made anything seem possible.

"Alright but let's not tell anybody else ok? I've never seen anybody like this before and considering Mayuri, well..." responded Rikichi, paling.

"Right… you know what? Only we will know." said the now sweating member.

"Ok let's tell the Taicho now, I think we should tell her first since we have no idea what happened..." stated a member of the 4th.

"Should we? I mean she hardly seems injured." responded another nervous member of the group.

"You saw her fall from the sky right?! I don't know about you but that seems pretty bad! Also, the ryoka were special! We all know that!" yelled Rikichi.

"… Ok, ok." said one member of the 4th nervously while everyone else sweatdropped.

The 4th member ran to get Unohana and the others waited loitering around the cot, eyes hastily darting to get a glimpse of the sudden beauty plopped in their midsts.

The minutes turned to hours, and even the presence of the gorgeous beauty failed to remain novel enough to entertain them, and every last one fell asleep.

At least, that's what Rikichi daydreamed as he jerked awake from where his head had lolled to rest on another Shinigami's shoulder (he was sure it was Tsuru but it didn't matter in the end), in reality it was all in about 15 minutes.

As Unohana arrived the girl stirred.

She yawned cutely and opened her eyes blinking in a faint attempt to clear sleep from her mind, her adorable attempts only garnered further attention. Those orbs slowly came into focus, the irises were a shade of baby-blue, such a shocking pale blue, like the winter ice, glittering over a frozen lake and a deep sparkling blue like the ocean underneath the midsummer sun, so shallow, and yet so deeply mysterious, made a ring around her eyes.

Rikichi supposed one could lose themselves in those eyes, deep as the trenches of the mortal world and just as mysterious. He wondered if they would glow when she was happy, or uncurl like the raging storm clouds of a maelstrom when upset.

As she woke up her eyes mesmerized every last person in the room.

"What? What is this feeling? I-I- I must serve Osaki'ta Yaravane… NO! I mean… who wouldn't?" murmured Rikichi as he felt his his free will be pulled away from him replaced with a want to serve her every need.

It had been a gentle pull at first, one he hadn't even noticed when first gazing upon her lithe form cradled in the streets of rukongai. Now it ensnared like a venomous cobra sinking deadly fangs into an already paralysed victim.

Beside him, as he barely noticed, the others too felt their will curling, and dissipating like smoke escaping a fire. "Even," he noted, as the last of his consciousness faded away into subservience, "Unohana-taicho is falling, though she seems to be fighting harder than the rest of us."

Osaki'ta stretched as she awoke, arms reaching above her head shifting her school uniform. She couldn't believe it!

She was… in Soul Society!

Well of course she was, after all she already knew Bankai and was half quincy, half hollow, half vampire, half mermaid, half bunny, half yokai, half neko, half alive, etc, etc.

She sat up and began to convene with her zanpakuto spirits, Utsukushi Umi no Uri and Hi no Hageshi Bakuhatsu. They both wore beautiful flowing kimonos, one had images of water, dolphins, and other beautiful symbols of the ocean. The colours of the ocean, rich aquas and tainted greens painted her form in perfect shades. While her other spirit had fire and wonderful patterns that curled and streaked in instinctive and fierce designs. Her skin was a brilliant red, with shades of orange and yellow curling around her form, and hugging it like a flame consumes its fuel.

Their presences were like her own soul, a colourful kaleidoscope of feelings and sensations. When she centered herself she swore she could hear the chiming crashing waves of the sea coast where she had grown. Or the faint smell of oranges and strawberries, a scent she associated with the warmth of her family.

"You called us?" they spoke melodically in unison voices like the chimes of the forest resounding throughout her mindscape.

Yes of course I do, she replied.

"You want the ultimate power of us do you not? You more than deserve it so we shall tell you. Listen well, as it is difficult to use, but it can be used as much as you want. It is; Inazuma." spoke the two spirits approval and pride shining in almond shaped eyes glowing in hues of crimson and indigo, chanting musically as their eyes flashed yellow.

Osaki felt herself grow much, much stronger. As if the already vast well of her strength had deepened and coalesced into something grander, on a scale of the celestial beings ruling over mortal smiled and thanked the two spirits who simply nodded and disappeared into her inner world leaving soft wisps of water and fire curling upon the air.

Her inner world was a beautiful sunny place with a sparkling ocean that called upon sweet memories, it rested beside an active volcano whose lava glowed brightly and beautifully without hurting her peaceful world.

The volcano also didn't have awful smoke wafting from it and clogging the world's clear crystalline skies.

She got up and said, bring everybody you can! Also don't bother with Bya-kun and -ugh, Kenpachi. Honestly why is he even here? He's so violent.

All of the Bleach characters got up and started to go out the door, as her majesty Osaki'ta Yaravane had ordered.

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Hanatarou had been cleaning the sewers when had had walked into the 4th medical bays noticing a slightly ajar door, and having a mind to close it before Unohana took heed to the violation of the rules.

"T-there must be a new patient… I'll take a look." Hanatarou said nervously mustering his courage..

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 **A/N: Surprise! This was the collab between me and Arowen I hinted at a looong time ago. This is gonna be fun, and we're gonna make fun of every damn trope out there! And yes, If you look closely, the sue has no quotation marks. She's that broken. And yes, the prose is meant to be elegantly decorated, and violet with the Sue. ARGH! Almost lost control of the chapter... they will grow stronger. Also, next chapter will likely be posted by her. Love y'all!**


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